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The Krim Kingdom

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1The Krim Kingdom Empty The Krim Kingdom on Tue Oct 04, 2011 7:37 pm


The Krimn are by in large one of the most exotic and peculiar peoples in existence. While people tend to recognize them quickly from their odd appearance, they have always been a private people, not particularly friendly with others unless it suited their purpose. As a result, their culture is something of an enigma to outsiders, something I hope to rectify here today.
First of all, for those who are not familiar with the Krimn, they are a humanoid race descended from an ancient mountain predator species that hunted in packs, utilizing cunning and ingenuity to outwit their larger more powerful competitors.
Perhaps the most obvious and most defining feature of a Krimn is their bright blue skin, making them stand out in any crowd. This is thought to be an inheritance from their animal ancestors, the color indicating to would be attackers don’t touch me. This is a wise warning as Krimn flesh is toxic to any who consume it in sufficient quantities. Additionally they are mostly hairless, except for a long strip of black hair that starts at the back of their skull and runs all the way down their spine. The men tend to keep this short, while the women prefer it long. Most Krimn are notably larger and more muscular than the average human, another remnant from their predator lineage, along with two elongated lower canines that stick slightly above their lower lip like tusks.
The Krimn culture is interesting in its unique duality. On the one hand, the Krimn worship their ancestors and revere the past with a sort of passive fanaticism. On the other hand, they are far and away one of the most technologically advanced civilizations in the world. This technological prowess is partly due to the Krimn’s own innate cleverness, but is mostly compensation for the fact that all Krimn, to a soul, are completely incapable of using magic of any kind. Without their mechanical and chemical weapons, the Krimn would be at a severe disadvantage against the more magically inclined nations like Zeria.
The Krimn’s weapons are equally unique and terrifying. Their giant blimps, composed of hundreds of smaller balloons, patrol the skies of their mountain kingdom and rain incendiary bombs on those foolish enough to invade. Their mounted semi-automatic crossbows make their fortresses deadly to approach for any enemy, and the crude explosive devices they use on the battlefield make them an enemy to be reckoned with. Most legendary of all are their Golems, huge mechanical man-shaped constructs powered by steam, capable of tearing stones walls apart with their bare hands, and crushing armies underneath the pounding of their massive feet. This is not to say that their warriors are anything to scoff at. The Krimn maintain a well-trained army and will gladly fight any they think might be a threat to them and their way of life.
The main source of Krimn technology is the many different kinds of crystals that seem to grow only in their mountain kingdom. These crystals generally store some form of energy, and when exposed to the proper circumstances, will release this energy back out. Most common are the power crystals that absorb heat. These power the massive steam engines used in their Golems and steamboats. A rare few use these same crystals to tip crossbow bolts or strap them to rudimentary grenades. When shattered, these shards have a tendency to explode quite violently, making any weapon they are used on many times more lethal, though also a bit more dangerous to carry around.
In contrast to their advanced chemical and mechanical science, the Krimn’s religious beliefs are focused mainly on the past and on mysterious rituals, most of which serve purposes even the Krimn have long forgotten. One of the most important of these is the trial they use to choose their new leader. In their kingdom is a sacred cave, one believed to be the birthplace of their people, as well as to contain the largest and oldest of crystals in their mountain realm. When the current Krimn leader dies, all who would contest to be the next leader enters the cave. It is forbidden of those who enter to speak of what happens inside, but what is known is that of all who go in, only one comes out. When they do emerge, both of their tusks have been broken off and replaced with shards from the sacred crystal. It is this Krimn who will lead his people until the day he dies.
As far as diplomacy goes, the Krimn tend to follow a “you scratch my back I’ll stab yours,” policy. Perhaps that generalization is a bit harsh, but any who have dealt with Krimn will tell you they are friendly so long as you have something they want. If they ever see you as a threat to them or their homeland, about which they have a fierce patriotism, they will kill you without hesitation. Ironically, the Krimn seem to best get along with the harsher, more “uncivilized” species like goblins or orcs. This may be due to their common brutal traits, but more likely it is because the Krimn can trust them to be untrustworthy, and thus find them more comfortable to be around.
Very few nations have ever gone so far as to invade the Krimn’s mountain homeland (though those that do usually do so after being provoked by a particularly belligerent Krimn) and all invasion attempts have met with disaster. The Krimn make no reservations about using their technology in warfare, and their best and most powerful weapons are reserved for the defense of their cities. One old story talks about a fortress that actually flies through the air, raining fire and death on any who would approach the capital it guards. However, the battle this fortress was apparently spotted at had no survivors of the enemy army, so its authenticity is doubtful. More likely it is Krimn propaganda to scare away potential attackers.
While few nations have invaded Krimn, the Krimn are not shy about using their weapons and armies to harass their neighbors. They’ll raid and pillage anything nearby they see as vunerable, both for the resources and as a way of asserting their dominance in the region. There have also been a few times when the Krimn have declared all out war on another country, though these times are few and far between, since the Krimn are uncomfortable leaving their home’s undefended for any reason. When they do choose to invade, they do not employ half-measures. Stories talk about fire raining down from the skies, Krimn iron giants tearing walls down with their bare hands, poisonous mist weaving its way through enemy ranks to soften up an army before the ferocious hammer of the Krimn horde finishes them off.
The nations that the Krimn invade almost always have one thing in common: magic. The inhabitants almost always are ones who employ magic not only in battle but as a part of daily life. A deep-seated hatred and paranoia of magic-wielders has been bred into the Krimn since time immemorial, and they are not hesitant about taking their prejudices to the extreme. It is a well-known rule to not practice magic in or near Krimn lands, as to do so tends to almost always result in a lynch mob, something that’s actually legal for the Krimn. Those races who practice magic as a way of life, like Zerians or elves, avoid Krimn territories all together, knowing that if they were recognized for who they were they would most likely be found dead in the woods somewhere.
To conclude, the Krimn are a strong race that will do whatever it takes to survive. My advice, avoid them if you can, only trust them when you have no choice, and never threaten one for any reason. It will probably be the last thing you do.

This was a document written by some travelor whose name is currently unknown. These papers were found in an old abondand church, which was burned to the ground by what people assumed, goblins. It is a wonder how this stayed intact.

OOC: Thank you Croden for co-writing this.

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